It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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