just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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