he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
