The maid of honor just puked.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
