I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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