You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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