Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Alive.
So much puke
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
