i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
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You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He did a backflip because drugs
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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