Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My dick has a subreddit
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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