I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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