In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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