Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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