You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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