I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
