I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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