like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
