oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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