I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
