she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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