and you said cock pushups were impossible
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
