i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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