don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
