but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night