he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
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Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
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She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.