My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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