lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
