before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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