we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
