Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
