Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
