I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
