Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
