i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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