Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
