she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
pray to the hookup gods
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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