who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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