I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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