Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
