Me. At least after what I've been through.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
