Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
