Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
