party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
