Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
