Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If I die, sorry about rent.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
