Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
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Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
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I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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