were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
