ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
