need another drink. this is the easiest way
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
