Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My friends, they love my intelligence
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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