i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
