ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
