in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
