Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
