just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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