i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
