For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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