So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I believe in your delicious
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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