i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
