Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
