I wanna passion pit in your ass
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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