is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
