They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
