At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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