I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
