i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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