Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
